


Saving Gretta

by andrea_deer



Series: Kissing Meme [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Did I Mention Crack?, Florist AU, Kissing Meme, M/M, OOC, Swearing, Veterinarian AU, and not in a good way either, as in actual birs not clint or sam, clint being weird af, more like a bad example and cause of headaches, original bird character - Freeform, panicking bucky, pigeon - Freeform, ppl being rude about pigeons, random clint appears, steve being mentioned a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: Kissing Meme: 10) ‘You nearly died’ kiss - Sam/Bucky for Megan_Moonlight.   "I'm going to kill him," said Bucky, noticing Sam's antics from across the street as he was going back to his flower shop. "I will get there, I will make sure he doesn't fall and break his stupid neck and then I'm going to kill him."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeganMoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMoonlight/gifts).



It was a secret quite well hidden from people Bucky didn't consider friends, but Bucky didn't deal well with stressful situations. It's been said, and many times too, that he always over-reacts, gets shouty, over-protective and ready for a fight, while simultaneously almost hyperventilates from overpowering panic.

Personally, Bucky blamed Steve. 

People liked to think it was all caused by Bucky's accident or the work he put in as a firefighter. Those were the people who clearly didn't know Steve, because Steve brought more stress and adrenaline into Bucky's life than any fire or accident.

Steve claimed Bucky was over-exaggerating as usual, but Steve didn't know it was not a usual reaction before Steve came into Bucky's life. Four years old Bucky wouldn't panic, when he saw someone balancing on the edge of the roof. However, by the time he was nine Steve thought him there are good reasons to panic. And also that material, kid-made wings are shit, but he was kinda guessing that already.

He earned his peace is what he's saying. He worried enough and lived through enough to deserve some peace and quiet and so still maybe some people looked at him oddly, when they realised this muscled, one-handed, tattooed guy is indeed the florist they came to see, but well, that was kind of fun. And he earned it and he deserved it.

What he did not deserve was his boyfriend apparently getting convinced he is a bird and walking on the edge of the bloody roof.

"I'm going to kill him," said Bucky, noticing Sam's antics from across the street as he was going back to his flower shop. "I will get there, I will make sure he doesn't fall and break his stupid neck and then I'm going to kill him."

Some old lady, who apparently heard his dark muttering gave him a surprised look, but after a short moment of consideration, nodded in approval.

Good. Clearly there were still some sensible people on this planet. Shame that Bucky was not dating one of them.

Bucky run up the stairs of the building Sam was balancing on top of, completely ignoring the annoyed glances of people, who clearly wanted to question if he should be there or not. He had no time for such stupid arguments and luckily was well known enough in the neighborhood for people to not bother him, when he gets like this. 

Again, Steve's fault.

He wouldn't say he calmed down by the time he got up to the roof, but perhaps his brain managed to catch up a bit of his over-whelming panic and anger, because he did not slam the door open and startle Sam into falling off a roof. 

He opened the door slowly and just looked for a moment as Sam was apparently now standing safely on the firm ground of the roof instead of balancing on its edge. He was also holding a pigeon in his hands and if he just almost died for a fucking pigeon, Bucky was going to bloody kill him. _A pigeon._

Another guy standing before Sam and fretting over the ugly bird supported the theory that the little flying rat was the cause of it all.

"Yeah, the wing seems to be off," Sam was saying calmly. "It doesn't seem to be broken, but maybe something else is off with it or she just doesn't trust it yet after it healed. I'll take her in and check it up in the office."

The other guy nodded shortly and then looked at Bucky frowning. Sam followed his gaze and smiled brightly.

"Bucky! What are you doing here?"

"Not almost falling off a building like _some people_!"

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I was not falling off a building, I was just getting Gretta. She has some trouble flying."

"Oh great."

"And Clint was there the whole time."

"Well, now I'm relieved."

Sam glared at him.

"Any other rodents you need to save from the edge of this roof?"

"Hey!" Clint protested suddenly. "She is a pet, not a rodent."

Bucky just stared at him.

"It's a fucking pigeon, how a pigeon can be a pet?"

Clint shrugged.

"It's a pigeon. And it's mine. Ergo: pet." He gesticulated towards the pigeon in Sam's arms that made a sound, possibly in agreement.

From long experience with Sam's clients Bucky knew well enough that even seemingly well-adjusted individuals went batshit crazy for their pets, so he let the matter go entirely. With only one lengthy, judgmental silent moment, which he believed he was entitled to.

He looked back at Sam once he was done.

"I swear, sometimes you're worse than Steve." 

"If you're gonna be rude, I'm gonna leave."

"You _are_ gonna leave!" agreed Bucky loudly. "Get off this goddamn roof right now."

Sam rolled his eyes so hard it had to hurt, but slowly started moving towards Bucky and the exit behind him. 

Bucky put his hands on his hips in his best disapproving pose and glared steadily.

Sam just shook his head as he finally came close and then quickly kissed Bucky on the lips.

"I'm fine," he said and kissed his boyfriend again. "I was in no danger." Another kiss. "Everything is all right." Kiss. "And none of us is Steve." Kiss.

"Thank god for that," agreed Bucky, somewhat mollified.

"Mhmmm," agreed Sam with a feeling and Bucky almost smiled, before he managed to stop himself. "You good?"

"Perfect," said Bucky. "You know what would make me feel even better though?"

Sam raised his eyebrow in question.

"If you finally got off that fucking roof."

The eye-roll was too real and would've possibly permanently damaged someone with less experience, but finally Sam moved past Bucky and the exit, walking down the stairs and cooing quietly to the bird in his arms.

Bucky nodded, satisfied and moved after him, almost managing to close the door and lock the creepy pigeon owning asshole on the roof, but apparently he was expecting that move.

Bucky wasn't surprised, he couldn't be the first person to try it. He shrugged philosophically and walked down the stairs after his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all basically Megan's fault. I told her, when she left this prompt, I told her: Megan, I still haven't seen Civil War, I barely read any fics with those two, I've never seen them interact and I've never wrote either one of them and you give me a serious prompt, wtf? Megan, you're gonna get the crackiest, weirdest, most ooc AU ever made, you hear me? And she said she looks forward to it.
> 
> So this is more like a punishment for leaving shitty prompts, when you know the author can't provide. I hope Megan learned her lesson and I hope I did not hurt anyone else (too much) with this fic. ;)


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